I've been incredibly busy with everything but school work since I've been home. This is my first visit back to NOVA in about 2 months--which is some sort of record. It's refreshing being home and with my family and friends again and I feel inspired to move forward with my concept and create stronger, more involved work. I have renewed patience and hope that I am moving in a positive direction and that everything I've endured while photographing at home will be very well worth it.
I feel like a different person from when I started this semester. It's an interesting thought to consider the parallels between the concept of my work and the growth I've had over the past few months. My confidence has grown in my work, conceptually and technically and I feel sort of impervious to things that would've bothered me before this year. Coming full circle and concentrating this work on myself rather than on my siblings has enabled me to realize and face my own fears. When I was working with Michael and Hayley I think I was using them and their innocence as an escape. They are the closest thing to my childhood beside my own memories and they are still at that in-between age where they can still feel like children; they can still be ignorant and naive without second guessing themselves. But I suppose at the end of the day, once I was alone, the journey I took with my brother and sister was only a false hope for myself to overcome something I was too scared to face on my own. And while I do feel like I've grown as a person, there are still parts of me that feel like they're missing. There are parts of who I was a few years ago that I need to remember so that I can become whole as who I am now. Growing as an artist and a big sister is only a very small part of who I need and want to be.
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