Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Idea Blog for 03/04

I kind of wanted to wait to do this blog post so I could review the recording of my midterm critique and comment on it, but I suppose I can do that on my own time afterwards, anyway. I don’t really have all that much to say at this point. I suppose I could recap all the supporting research I’ve done, just to have it all in one place. Yeah, I think I’ll do just that.

The crown traditionally represents power, legitimacy, immortality, righteousness, victory, triumph, resurrection, honor, and perfection. It can also be used with irony; worn by jesters, fools and pretenders.

The color orange (in the context of family crests) represents ambition.

Neurosis: Neurosis is the way of avoiding non-being by avoiding being ~Paul Tillich. With the threat of non-being, the Neurotic is often creative in his attempts to deal with it by creating an “imaginary world” for himself.

Neurosis represents a variety of mental disorders in which emotional distress or unconscious conflict is expressed through various physical physiological and mental disturbances, which may include physical symptoms like hysteria. The definitive symptom being anxieties. Neurotic tendencies are common and may manifest themselves as depression, acute or chronic anxiety, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, phobias and even personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder or obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD).

Simply defined, Neurosis is a “poor ability” to adapt to one’s environment and an inability to change one’s life patterns.

Struggle is what keeps a child from feeling his hopelessness. It lies in overwork, in slaving for high grades, in being the performer. Struggle is the Neurotic’s hope of being loved. Instead of being himself, he struggles to become another version of himself. Sooner or later the child comes to believe that this version is the real him. The ‘act’ is no longer voluntary and conscious; it is automatic and unconscious. It is neurotic. ~Dr. Arthur Janov, Neurosis

Symptoms of OCPD are anxieties, obsession of cleanliness and organization, perfectionism, rigid moral or ethical values and disinhibition (A term in psychology used to describe a lack of restraint manifested in several ways, including disregard for social conventions, impulsivity, and poor risk assessment. Disinhibition affects motor, instinctual, emotional, cognitive and perceptual aspects.)

Now, to explain all this: My dad suffers from OCPD and I’m convinced (though haven’t been diagnosed, and for that matter I don’t think I need to be—I see enough of myself in him to just know) that I suffer from it as well. The crown is the perfect metaphor for the versions of herself my sister is assuming, not to mention that it sits on the head, thus acknowledging the mental disorder (OCPD) and their connection to perfection or perfectionism. The symbolism of the color orange also relates to form(s) of neurosis or the Neurotic in that it stands for an ambition to become something greater: a bigger, better self. Consequently, the person taking on these other selves is so they can escape the life they belong to realistically; reconstructing things they’ve been denied as who they really are as how they wish they could-or should-be. In my attempts to escape the issues at home, (I) Hayley has physically and mentally removed herself from her home and family. In a sense, she is allowing herself to exist in her own mind.

I think that covers everything! I hope that all makes sense.

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